I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles~Audrey Hepburn

Monday, February 8, 2010

Dreaming of a world without Mother in Laws

In a town somewhere in Texas there is a old grumpy lazy stinky Mother in law. She has made a girl name Winona's life pure hell for years. Worst of all, she has her son wrapped around her dirty little finger and disguises all her nonsense and games pretty well.

She is known around my house as "smelly cat". She doesn't wash or clean her house. She lives in filthy conditions (her house is full of cockroaches and flies) and we have to move her to a different apartment every year. Her son can't understand why I don't want her germ infested hands touching my kids. I dread it when she wants to come around. She refuses to work and makes us pay for her living expenses, food and anything else the creature needs. She likes to create drama and chaos between her son and me because she knows she will always win. She also likes to always play the victim (I despise people like this) so everyone says "poor" her. She loves to fake asthma attacks and several trips to the ER at tax payers expense for attention. She is always lying and seems to get away with it everytime.This woman has never worked for a living and has always expected her son to take care of her in every sense of the word after her husband left her. She had three other kids and refused to take care of anything. She made her son who was young at the time take every responsibility that should have been hers. Everything he wanted to do in life had to be postponed because her needs had to come first. She is still young and can work just fine. She would get a job and on the first day fake some sickness and then the next day be running all over town spending money. Now she refuses to get any kind of work. She thinks she is entitled to this you see and over time this mentality has not changed.

Then I come around and now he has a family of his own. Things should have changed but she still expects the same. Winona wants to put a stop to this. She simply says enough is enough. You will no longer take from my children. So this causes a lot of fights and stress. I hate stress. I would love to just be happy and calm in my life. I try to avoid others who enjoy causing it day in and day out. But it's hard because so much of what this "smelly cat" does affects my life in so many ways. She knows what she is doing. She understands completely and she is no "victim".

I hate this woman. And I feel that even stronger when she continues to pull crap and her son still can't see it. Anyone with common sense could. It's right there bold and in their face, but he refuses to wake up. And then of course I look like the bad one in the end.

This is what I am dealing with and it's not fun. I just want her to go away and leave us alone. But I know that can't happen. Most days I want to pull her by the hair and shake her. Ask her why she has to be like this. I dream constantly of a world without Mother in laws. I envy the women out there that have the "good" ones. But I also know I'm not alone in this and there are others like me. I just wish it was something I didn't have to deal with. Life is hard enough you know? It shouldn't have to be this way. I try to laugh sometimes and make the best out of it. I try to tell myself it's going to be ok but there are days where that is impossible to feel and believe. Most times I just want to scream. I also know I'm letting this monster come in between my family and that makes me angry. I really wish things were different. I hope someday that wish can come true.That is all I have is hope.


  1. OMG, she and I would FIGHT. No way would it be okay for her to expect my dh to support her. Not when he has a family of his own. How selfish.

    My mil used to be somewhat of a nightmare. She really didn't like me and was rude to me all th time. I won't go into all of it, but it was awful. I finally had to tell her that she needed to either be civil to me or she would miss out on seeing her grandkids grow up. She's come a long way and I actually like her now.

  2. Move 2 hours away!!!! That's what we did.
    My MIL suffered for 7 YEARS with breast cancer. I always said God was punishing her in a different way. We pray that she is in Heaven but wouldn't be surprised if she isn't. Terrible, I know. Just remember her time will come.

  3. I am soooo sorry! I know your pain. My hubby and I did not get married when we wanted to because his mother needed him to pay for their mortage (fil still alive but out of work at the time)He did not still live at home like his other two brothers. Neither of them were getting married, both of them still had jobs and were not paying any bills, but MY HUSBAND had to pay their mortage! She once pulled my son away from my when I was speaking to him about right and wrong and told me not to punish HER grandson.....I was so angry I could have killed her on the spot just with my eyes!! hehehe! If you have ever read my blog, lots about my parents and as little as possiable about my in laws. I really do not know how my father in law has lasted as long as he ahs since he is one of the most wonderful men ever. Just like his son. They live in town and I only see them once a month if I can help it...any more and I might have to take the witch out!! hehehe!

  4. I would love to move and get away from her, but we won't. She has him believing so much her lies and BS. He falls for it each and every time and always take her side. It drives me crazy. The more he does that the more I hate her. It's hard when the person that is being manipulated is the same person you need on your side. We actually got into it today on the phone where I told her off. I wanted to say so many other things, but she got the last word and hung up. That made me even more angry. I just needed to get it off my chest. I've been holding it in for so long. She will never change, she will keep being lazy and spending away the extra money we give her after we pay her bills. I'm afraid she will be around for a long time making my life hell and she knows exactly what it is that she's doing.

  5. How blind can your husband be!!!! there is one thing to love someone...another to be a enabler...he is doing her no good by enableing her to act this way...time for him to use some tough love...it seems she has no one else so I am sure it would work, time for your husband to stop being a victim, and be a grown up and put his wife and children first. sorry if this sounds harsh, but he chose to get married and bring children into this world, you guys should be his priority.

  6. No it should be exactly how you say it. It's true and I have told him. He doesn't listen. We just fight. It's like a lost cause. I've simply had enough of it!

  7. what a sad pathetic creature she is. i feel bad that she is coming between you two, but he needs to take a stand and realize who his priorities are right now. i'd smack her around.... way to go to you for not losing it completely- yet.

  8. I have no words of wisdom, but I do like the "move away" suggestion by the previous comment.

  9. My gosh, I don't know how you stand it. I got married very young and I think my mil just never got over that. I was blamed for everything happening that wasn't good..it was my fault. I'm not sure when it changed..but she actually begin to like me..and I returned it..and then slowly,she started to love me..and I truly loved her back,even tho she still blamed me for everything. Eventually, we divorced and of course,she took his side..but I was tired of being the victim and I told her how she had hurt me over the years..and I told her precious son where he could go for always listening to her. I had had enough.. and then I was free of them both.
    I raised my two sons and it was hard..I had child support,but it was still hard. It was okay tho..I was free of the mess and the stress and the constant fighting that she was capable of bringing about. I truly know what problems mil's can cause..and if your husband won't stand up to her, this is how it will be forever. Maybe I shouldn't be saying this..it's just I know how you feel, and I so hope it get's better. I'll be thinking about you..

  10. Thank you! I know it feels like it will never change. And it probably won't. Thanks for thinking about me:-) Thanks for the feedback everyone...

  11. I'm so sorry you have to go through that...it sounds like she has mental issues...it must be hard for your husband to have a Mom like this...

  12. Yeah I think she is perfectly sane. She acts all helpless, sick, needy to him and then when she speaks to me she is all mouthy and goes off big time. She knows exactly what she is doing at anytime. She just wants her son to keep feeling sorry for her, trust me she does so many things for his attention. And it usually works which is a major problem for us. That is what drives me crazy cause she is nothing like he thinks she is. She would love to break us up. I think she lives for that day!

  13. WOW... This is so sad. I love my MIL.

    WEll, here are my two cents worth.

    Children ARE attached to their parents, no matter how awful you think that parent might be. Blood is thick. Don't put your husband in a position where he might feel like he has to choose between the two of you. Talk to him and find some small ways that you two can deal with her on a united front and with kind hearts.

    A little bit of space is always good. Moving an hour away is good advice.

    It sounds like you are really frustrated with the issue and talking to a therapist or a pastor might be beneficial. You can not change someone else (MIL). You can only change how you act and think, and how you respond to her. If you could learn some coping skills to deal with the stressful relationship it would make you feel better.

    Sounds like it might be a good idea for MIL to talk to a therapist too, but you can't force someone else do something... you can only control your own self.

    Good luck and I hope that you can all find a way to work through the problems and make the future better for your whole family.

    Sending you hugs.

  14. It is hard mainly because she is taking from my children. It's just a Mother's natural instinct to protect her kids always. They go without because she chooses to be lazy. And she knows what she is doing so that makes things worse. I never tell my husband to choose, but I just feel that for once it would be great to know he's on my side. Like he should be. He can love her, but that should only go so far once he has a family of his own..Thanks for the insight..